19 things: An Anniversary Post

Flight Patterns officially turns two years old this month. In celebration of the blogiversary, my birthday, and the new year, I'm continuing my tradition of recapping the year in 19 significant things.

1. Pilates
   I posted about Pilates in my post [7.5 Tips to Get More Exercise: Tools of Holistic Creativity.] Pilates is a form of exercise that is gentle and easy to get started, yet strengthens the entire body, including your spine, lungs and circulatory system.
   At the beginning of the year my main form of exercise was Pilates and the benefits were incredible, affecting both my physical and emotional health. I stopped about halfway through the year after I started a physically demanding job but I really should get back into it.
   

2. Victory or Death
   About this time last year I was talking about my project Victory or Death which is a novel I was writing (*spoiler alert* I finished it.) MaNy different emotions went into this story. While I am very proud of finishing it, I am afraid it is not suitable for public consumption. By the time I finished the book, my writing style at the end of the book far outpaced my writing abilities at the beginning of the book. I grew skill-wise in the process, yet I don't believe this book is ready for publication.

   

   Victory or Death is the story of a group of teens involved in the anarchist organization Praxis, looking for freedom. However, Reyah doesn't know that Victoria is training her as her replacement, Praxis's stipulation for letting Victoria leave. Tensions run high when a unfortunate encounter with an authority figure bungles the group's final mission, sending them on the run from the authorities, and even more dangerous, Praxis itself.
   So... maybe someday with rewrites and editing, this book might, in the distant future, see the light of day. But I don't have the ability or time at the moment. Just filling you in in case you've heard me talk about and wonder why I suddenly stopped. I DID finish, and not give up on the project.
   

3. Counseling
   This year I finally caved, and went to counseling for the first time since I was very little. It helped in some small ways. It was interesting to hear the counselor's perspective on things, because her background was so different from mine. One thing she said that stuck with me was, "It's cool how your faith has been a support for you through the hard times." As far as I know, she was an unbeliever, but she could see God working in my life...even when I couldn't. Sometimes life's funny like that.
   She also taught me some tools to manage my ADHD/motivation struggles, like rewarding myself with mints or gum while I work, to incentivize myself to keep going.
   

4. Priorities
   This is a hard topic to write about, but as I perused my journal entries from this year, I was constantly re-evaluating and re-focusing on my priorities. It's a struggle for me to prioritize because 1) it's admitting I won't get everything done that I want to and 2) my brain wants to put the most fun, most dopamine-inducing things first. I constantly had to fight to put God at the top of the list, and focus on the activities that I knew would produce results, instead of trying every new fun idea.
   

5. College search
   Another thing that occupied many of my thoughts and journal entries this last spring was the big college decision. Between my parents and I, we had researched and visited and applied and read over acceptance letters and scholarship offers. The two colleges were night and day with pros and cons. Not to mix metaphors, but it was as frustrating as comparing apples to oranges. Deadlines loomed...a decision needed to be made... and I was torn, wanting to make the best choice.
   
   I can't remember who gave me the advice that helped me escape the indecision limbo, but I was told to flip a coin to hypothetically pick what college I would go to. Then without telling anyone, think like I would go to that college. If I was comfortable with the college the coin decided on, that solved my problem. If I had "regrets" that it wasn't the other choice, I would spend a week thinking like the other college was the plan.
   
   The week that I was considering the college the coin picked, several positive factors pertaining to it came to light. Several things about the other college made me more and more uncomfortable. In the end, I went to the first college and I'm doing great there. (More about that at point 11.)
   

6. Work
   Of course, college--and adult life in general--costs money. During the school year, I worked as a preschool leader for two groups of children, but that job ended when their school let out for summer. I looked around for a job for the summer, and went to the other end of the age spectrum: I ended up working full-time at an assisted living home for the summer and went on-call (aka working occasional shifts) when I moved away to college.
   

7. Graduation
   I finally graduated highschool! As a homeschooler I didn't have a traditional graduation ceremony, but I graduated with my best friend at a ceremony my family put on for us with speeches, snacks, and dancing. Non-traditional education has its perks and drawbacks.
   It was hard, really hard, not graduating like everyone else, even with my fellow homeschoolers that I spent years learning with (who had a separate ceremony a few weeks before.) Tears may have been shed. However, when our graduation day finally came, it was worth the wait and much enjoyed.

   

   What none of the guests knew is how close it came to disaster. The night before the graduation, I went to my friend for help with my still unwritten speech and learned that she hadn't written hers either. Neither, we would find out...had our parents. Twenty four hours before the speeches were scheduled and none of us had started! So if you were at the graduation and heard me mix up Hamlet and Macbeth, now you know why. And if you happened to be at Stratford-upon-Avon and witnessed the Bard rolling over in his grave, now you, too, know why.
   

8. Kitten
   For a little while my mom had been mentioning wanting to get a kitten, so when I saw a lady in the area looking for a home for a stray kitten, I sent my mom the Facebook post. Honestly it was a joke, but we...actually ended up getting the kitten. She was small and feisty, with a stubby tail and long crooked hind legs that made her extra bouncy. And boy, could she meow. She didn't like being left alone at night, and would greet me with the most pitiful, high-pitched squeaking when I got in from work.

   We also discovered she had a loud purr... it could be heard from several rooms away.
   At one point, my mom confessed that her ulterior motive for adopting the kitten, which we named Umbra, was to make sure I would visit home from time to time after I left for college.😂
   
   

   

9. Ydubs Conference
   This was my birthday present from last winter, but in August I flew to Tennessee with my mom to attend a writers conference with my friends from the Young Writers Workshop (aka Ydubs)
   [I talk more about this in this post.] It was an enjoyable time, though it had emotionally strenuous moments where I was left out of several group events. I had also been extremely sick the week before, to the point where we were worried I would be too unwell to travel. By the grace of God, I had recovered enough to stomach food when we had to leave, and my appetite gradually returned at the conference and I had enough energy to run around with my friends and create laughter and chaos and memories.
   

10. River Trip
    Right after the conference, I went on a whitewater rafting trip with some cousins and extended family. I almost didn't go because my parents were worried it would be too much for me, especially after the conference.
    However, it ended up being oddly therapeutic, since I was missing my friends from the conference really badly. The three days we were in the canyon, I had no reception, no internet, no contact with the outside world. It was just me and my family and the river guides in God's creation, which gave me plenty of time to sort out my thoughts.
    It also gave me plenty of fun! We had lovely picnics on the shore and floated down the river in the kayaks, rafts, and sometimes in just our lifejackets. We saw elk and bears and eagles. It was definitely worth it.
    

11. University
    After all the fun of summer, it was time to settle down and move to college. It was exciting and exhausting with the bustle of orientation, the freedom of living away from my parents, the daunting task of figuring out my new schedule, the slightly-less-daunting task of making new friends, trying to find a job so I could stay in college.
    But after the first few days, they split us into groups according to our majors, and it was much easier to get to know like-minded people. I was in the humanities group, so there were a lot of artsy people there. Our professor led us in several icebreakers, and by the end of day three we had lasting inside jokes.
    I found a job, by the grace of God, by bumping into a friend I had met when I first visited the school. He was on good terms with the manager of dining services and gave him my name. So this last semester, I've been working as a dishwasher in a (former) morgue. (Many of the buildings on campus have a gruesome past.)
    

12. Church
    The most intimidating thing was switching churches. Going from a PK at a church where I spent most my life to picking a new church in a new city was very nerve-racking. However, several upperclassmen invited me to their church and offered me a ride. I'm still trying to get plugged in at this church but it's been a good fit and very thought provoking.
    

13. Writing
    I left my writing community this year, so writing has gone back to being a solo operation. I've continued to try to keep my projects limited so I don't get overwhelmed. This year has been Victory or Death, some short fiction called "Untamed" and "Wilderness," some poetry, a few guest posts, and this blog.
    

14. Graphic Design
    Graphic design has still been a big part of my life. Some new opportunities this year have been heading a team of designers to create a magazine layout and doing a freelance book cover and getting paid for it.
    The magazine layout was my first time designing with other people involved, and it was interesting learning from them and trying to coordinate each person's style.
    The graphic design project was easier than it might have been because the client was good with my original design concept, where other clients have asked for a lot of tweaks to the design itself.
    

    

15. HvZ
    I know I talked about college but HvZ (Humans vs. Zombies) deserves its own bullet point. This was a campus-wide, four day event where the humans ran around with nerf blasters and armbands, trying to complete our assigned missions without getting tagged by zombies.
    I'm very proud of surviving, because as someone who writes about those situations, I've always been curious if I would be able to survive in one.
    It was definitely a learning experience in utilizing different strengths and weaknesses a team. I couldn't run very fast, and I didn't have a powerful gun or the aim to use one. But my teammates did. In return I figured out clues, and helped navigate the campus.
    It was a blast. And my writing professor won't stop quoting my write-up of the event where I warn people (and zombies) "Don't underestimate the nerds."
    

16. You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown
    The saga of the school play is another highlight of the year. I auditioned for our production of You're a Good Man, Charlie Brown, but initially didn't get a part. Instead, I signed up to do stage crew. During tech week, (basically a week of dress rehearsals where we make sure all the costumes, sets, lighting, and sound is ready for the performances,) one of the directors came up to me and asked "hey, are you comfortable with puppeteering? We want to incorporate Woodstock into a few scenes." And that's how I had the role of a little yellow bird with less than a week to learn all my cues.

    

    The play went really well, and I'm so proud of all my friends. We had numerous people tell us they liked our production better than the original Broadway production.
    

17. Family
    I can't list major parts of my year without talking briefly about my family. It's crazy to go off to college and come back and see the difference... my siblings are actually maturing. *insert angel choir here.*...one brother came and opened my car door for me like a gentleman. I'm thinking the old adage "absence makes the heart grow fonder" is very applicable here.

    

18. Andrew
    I've had a policy of not talking much about my love life online... it's always been a really personal thing. I won't go into the details, but a lot has happened in the last four months.
    But it's not fair to talk about my year or my art without talking about Andrew. Andrew has been incredibly supportive, especially of what I create.
    Even before we were dating, he would understand if I said I needed to finish a blog post before I could come hang out. As I've been writing my series on spiritual gifts, he's been around to bounce ideas off of, whether it's sentence structure or discussing the  topic in detail.
    He brings his own perspective and set of skills to the work I create, and it's a wonderful partnership in so many ways.

    

19. Goodbyes.
    This year had way too many goodbyes to my liking. I had to say goodbye to my students in the spring. I left the Ydubs online community around the same time. Leaving the conference was emotionally brutal all over again. There is photo evidence of me crying on my friend's shoulder,
    something I didn't expect to do. When I went to college, I put distance between me and the friends back home, not to mention my parents and brothers. I made friends at college and then learned that one of my closest college friends was moving to New York and wouldn't be coming back next semester.
    As sad and difficult as these goodbyes have been for me, I was reminded that the reason they hurt so much is because there was so much love there to begin with. I feel a little guilty for feeling bad because not everyone has the opportunity that I have had to experience such powerful friendships.
    

So as we say goodbye to 2023, I'm sad because it's been a good year, all in all. It's been a year full of love. And really, what more could one ask for?